Need for advice.

Honestly, I'm usually not one to complain. I'm kind of a very secretive person when it comes to expose my feelings because I believe this is making me weaker. But as I know all of you for some time now and I have to admit I trust you, I needed to let some things out.

First of all, this will be about University. I love University, it was hard for me to begin studies again but I decided to do so because here in Belgium, we don't have a thing without graduations. I'm a very motivated person, though I can be lazy sometimes, but when it comes to work I give myself 100%. Unfortunately, here it's not enough. I could easily self-teach myself another language, Italian or German maybe because I'm motivated and I know with time & some help from friends, I could succeed. But if I go to an employer's office, he will ask me "Well, where is your grade that prooves me you studied those languages?". So University is my only option left.

I think I screwed up at my exams. Big time. Out of 5 exams, I know I failed at two of them. The others I don't know but I'm not expecting much out of it. I'm already thinking about switching options, choosing another language. But the problem is here:
I have to choose between something I love but which is uneasy as Hell or something I don't like - or even hate - but which is a bit easier. Facility against passion.

I know people say that when you're passionate, you can achieve everything but maybe I'm not so strong. To explain in plain words: I love Russia. I have since I was a kid. I love Russian people, Russian culture, Russian food, even though I never meet them or practise them or taste the food. I love everything that screams "Russia". But the language is killing me. I love it, but my mind doesn't seem to have the logic to practise it. I could speak Russian, know sentences by heart but when it comes to MAKE sentences, declinate things, I'm bad.

I could choose Italian. I hesitated between the two. Unfortunately for me - and I don't want to insult Italian people! - I don't like anything that is Italian. I was never for hot countries and probably will never be. It's just not something that appeal me. I have nothing against people, but the language is not something I would like to practise every day. And even if I plan to visit Italy, in city-trip, I would never plan to actually live there.

So right now I don't know what to do anymore. Is my technique wrong? Do I study wrong? I don't have the feeling of being particularly stupid. I'm as intelligent as my classmates are. I think I just need to see clear because right now, everything is a bit confusing.

Julie,I think I understand you,I had the same problems with my English,I studied it at school then at a college,I visited some different courses,I learnt words,rules,translated texts but it DIDN"T WORK at all,it was absolutely useless,I couldn't say a word.It was like a barrier between me and English language,it was impassable,I was in desperation,I talked to myself "I did learn,I did study!Why I can not do it?Stupid girl!"It seemed to me that I had English in my head untill I shut a text-book down,when I am reading the text-book I know English,when I am just stand in front of someone and want to say something I feel a tongue-tied embarassment,all words get off my head and I am about to cry
And one day I met a young girl,Irina,she was 20 and she studied in our town,in a Universaty,Irina was from Murmansk(it's a very North,near aNorway border,as nany students who study in a strange sity she undertook a tutor activity,she was very smart and had a Cambridge сertificate of English but it's not a matter of certificate,she had a pedagogical talent,I think.How?I cannot understand how?But she broke that barrier,I started to feel free expressing myself in English,I feel absolutely free now.Of course,when I am nervous(considering my impressionable nature,almost always ) I do mistakes,but now I am sure that I can do it and I thank Irina for that,it was her gift!!!So you need a right teacher(how I am sorry I cannot heip you much becouse of the distance,but when you need my help it's all yours!),maybe you should search for a tutor who will be a good mate for you and will correspond to your nature and ,of course,will have a gift!

Ok Julie, I can very much relate to your problem. I believe most academic establishments, universities and institutes, teach another language don't employ the most approacheable method. They use the language as an abstruct problem to be solved, just like mathematics as one of the academic subjects, not as a tool to communicate and express yourself with people from another country. Thus the language is treated as something more mechanical and systematic rather than something "live". Not only in Belgium but I believe it is the case pretty much globally. Such approach is not all together bad, it works fine with certain people, and probably it helps to understand the grammatical structure in a way more exact with less flaws. However I don't think I would ever achieve learning any language in this manner.

The problem with me is that I am not capable of comprehending "grammatical discussion", and my brain freezes up as soon as I see grammatical jargons. I had to be shown situational examples instead of a logical explanation to understand the grammars.
I learned all my Italian after coming to Italy, initially my partner spoke to me in English. However everyday I listened to him speaking with his colleagues and clients for hours on the telephone and without noticing, I gradually started to understand little by little. After a year Cristiano was speaking to me in Italian about 80% of time. I was still very hesitant of "speaking", and one of his client/friend, who runs a language school, offered me to attend a 3 months course. That really made a difference. It was not a traditional "School" or "academic class", there were about 10 students from different countries, and most of the class time was spent "chatting" about specific subjects at the lead of the instructor, who gave us pointers and occasional corrections periodically. (and thankfully, the instructor used situational examples to explain the grammar, instead of using those detested grammatical jargons, so even I understood!) It was fun and stimulating, never boring. Our level was pretty much the same, and since we were from different countries we did have to use Italian to talk amongst ourselves even in the recess or before/after the class, no going right back to our own language --- here I and other students as well, got over the hesitation and learn to speak much more freely.

In a practical world, there is nothing wrong with self-teaching as long as it works for you. But as you pointed out, if you want to use your knowledge/skills for your prospective employment, the employers will most definitely ask for a "diploma", or some sort of paperwork to "prove" your ability. It is not just about languages, Cristiano (an IT specialist) suffered a lot of setback when he was younger because he never finished his university for personal reasons, although he was in reality so much more capable than most uni-graduates. Also his son, a talented artist, has to go to the art academy now because without a diploma, he will be stuck without a job unless he has certain connections with the right sort of people. A piece of paper matters so much... It is really stupid, but unfortunately it is one of many injustices that make up this flawed world.

Perhaps the problem is the approach the way you are studying it. Perhaps you may want to take a course like I did with Italian, if you can find one, along with the uni studies. It is much more enjoyable, stimulating and tangible, which will definitely enhance your studying. I also used films and songs a lot to become familiar with the language.
As for switching the languae, it is always the best to persue something you love and have a passion for. Why is Italian the other option? If you don't like it, in the end it will be more difficult for you to achieve a lot, because you lack the motivation, even if it is "easier" logically. If you do decide Russian is not a language for you, please look for something that attract you more than Italian. But before you come to the decision, please try to take varied approaches to get to know this very enigmatic, yet intriguing language and give it your absolute best. firstly you love it, and you have already accomplished a lot, and you have people to help you. If Milana or Oksana or any other of your Russian friends agrees, how about setting up a video conference. which will create more "direct" atmosphere, and try to chat with them....
Don't give up too soon, hey, Johnny did it!! And I am sure he encountered a lot of obstacles, and not only with learning the language!! So think Johnny when you encounter difficulties!!

Thanks girls! Milana, you've done more for me in Russian than everybody else did and I'll never thank you enough for this so you don't need to say you wish to do more for me. You already did.

Licia, I like Italian language, I really do. I don't hate it. But the courses are divised in 4 parts, which means we have one only about the practical language and the three others are more like History, Grammar,... And that's when I don't like it because it really doesn't attract me. Other than Italian, I have those choices:
German, Greek, Czech, Polish, Arabian & Spanish.

I really like the Greek but we have to study ancient greek and I hated it. Spanish, no way for me. Arabian would be usefull because there are a lot of people speaking it in Belgium but... no, thanks. Polish... I wanted to study Polish basically because my BFF is Polish (she's from Warsaw) but she told me "Are you CRAZY? It's freaking hard to master!". So I didn't. And German... guh.

Oh I will self-teach myself Italian, even if I have to take courses in another school during the evening, just to have kind of a diploma at the end. And when I really have the time and get motivated, I will learn japanese.

As for the video conference and so on, I have to admit that I'm socially awkward as a person. So talking is definitely hard for me, even if I'm more able to talk with strangers than with people I know. There's nothing I hate more than the phone, for example

another thing I don't recommend you about learning Italian is because, unless you personally like the language/country and genuinely interested in it, it is not a very practical language. It is an official language only in Italy, ah maybe a tiny portion of southern switzerland but if you are interested in the language spoken in Switzerland, German or French is much better an idea!! So I dare say, if you don't feel the passion/interest, or aiming to work for some Italian company/people, I don't think it will be worth it.
And I would say the same thing about Greek as well, it is not the most useful language to learn in today's world, unless you have some profound personal interest in it.
On the other hand, Spanish and German are quite universally spoken and sought after, Spanish is also the official language of the majority of Latin America, and German is also very useful if you go into medical field and some other businesses. Also Spanish is another latin based language, so it shouldn't be too difficult to learn if you speak French, and between Spanish and Italian, I definitely recommend Spanish over Italian for the practical purposes. So knowing these language can be a good asset when you are applying for many international companies. And considering how powerful these oil producing countries have become, Arabic may be useful as well, though I suspect the complexity and difficulty is even worse than Russian!
Czech has a lot of similarity with the Russian language, it may help if you want to learn, but also can be confusing at the same time!

But I insist, hang on a bit more and try and insist on Russian!!

BTW at your telephonophobia, I am just like you (if not worse!) I thought I was the only one in the world, I don't even own a mobile phone!! (well I actually do, Cristiano bought one for me years ago but I never got the hang of using it and it has been dead for 6 years ) Luckily I almost never have the need for it, only when I get separated and can't find him in a large, crowded shopping centre (which happens now and then!)!!

I do have a mobile phone but I'm very strict about it. I call my mom & my Godmother only (because they are the only person I'm not afraid to talk to) but I can't make any appointments. My Mom has to do them, when I have to take a visit to the doctor and so on... It's not that I'm petrified but I'm not at ease and I'm not confident when I'm on the phone. So basically I send texting messages.

About the languages now, I'm more than determined to try and try over and over again Russian. It might work, it has to. But just to know, what are the major difficulties (grammatically speaking) in Italian? Are there declinations like in Latin (since it comes from Latin, I suppose there are). Oh I hate Spanish even more! I trully hate it, I never knew why It's like Portuguese, I hate it (Forgive me Stéphane!). German sounds very like Dutch so I'm afraid I would mix the two of them but it would be "easier" at least. Oh, I'll see. Let's first see how my exams went.

Yes,really,Licia is right,Johnny did it!!

Jersey_Fierce wrote:

I But just to know, what are the major difficulties (grammatically speaking) in Italian? Are there declinations like in Latin (since it comes from Latin, I suppose there are).

I told you Julie, I am not capable of comprehending any grammatical terminologies, and seeing "declinations" my brain completely froze and stopped functioning

The difficulty I had (and still have!) with Italian grammar, I suppose, was mainly because of so many different cases and number of variations for each verbs depending on the situation, which is not a problem with English.
Also another confusing thing is the existence of masculine and feminine form, some nouns are masculine and others are feminine and the whole sentense may differ depending on it... which is pretty simple logically, but for an English speaker who has not been used to such rules, you have to pay attention for every word written or spoken, otherwise you tend to mix it all up. (it happens too often when you are speaking, as you are allowed no time to stop and reflect, or go back and check etc. etc.)
I think you are already accustomed to this because it is quite the same with French, so it may not be such a huge problem for you.

I think the grammar is slightly simpler than Russian, but I see several things in common which surprised me. For example Italian has the difference like "Ti" and "Vi" in Russian for the use of "you", the formal you and informal you. Also the structure of "I like...". In Italian it is " Mi piace", which translate into "it pleases me". The same way with "Mne nravitsa"